Hardly been this SONG before

Been rushing for projects in the past 2 days. Changing landscape especially. What's ironic was when we were finally done with the project report and checked the deadline, it's April 1. Err.. One more month to go?!

***

This is the first time in my life in NUS having 7 modules lined-up in IVLE. The "special sem" module was finally added to our workspace. Didn't know it's considered a "special sem module". When I saw the term, the first thing I asked myself was--Am I gonna be charged extra for that "module"??

***

ROCKE is finally up. I'm the second person after Shuhui who feels relieved. A big rock down the shoulder now. She's getting zai-er by the day. MAB, 5 CAs, and ROCKE all at one go. At least I'm only juggling between 4 impending-CAs, projects, and ROCKE. Saw Waikit just now. He's finally back. He knew about KH taking up KEWOC head too. Haha. We were enjoying our "last laughs".

***

Personal life? One word descriptor- Messy.

Or maybe 4 words can describe better?-- A bit的screwed.

Oh ya... Did I say I failed NOC alr? lol.

"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces,
never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again. "

~ Flavia Weedn

I remember this quote from my personal statement to NOC. Is the never-say-die attitude always good? I don't think it applies everywhere since it can be bothersome at times. However, there are things under specific circumstances that I often choose to cling on tight.

不经一事，不长一智。况且，没有真正尝试就放弃，太没道理了。虽然，我自己也深信勉强是没有幸福的。但是，幸福又何尝不是自己用双手一点一滴地建立起来的？所以，尽管现在结果不如人意，但也许，也许时间可以证明一切。

这也许就是我的坚持，也是我的固执。

NOC, I may come back... lol.

Weird dream 2

Keep having weird dreams. Why? Beats me too.

Well, this morning one involved more people, main from hall play. For some reason we went to a secluded place in sg.. Ponggol or Jurong I can't remember. But anyway, it was apparently a bday sabo. As to who the bday person was, it had alr slipped off my retrievable memory. Zichun was there, Arshvin was there, Louis, Geri Foo.. Can't remember the rest alr too. For some reason the guys were wearing NS policemen's uniforms and they were forcing the bday guy to kiss ppl. I was just watching by the side and out of no where, they suddenly targetted me. I ran.

Arshvin, being god of the mountain, was so power tt he came straight after me and lifted me up and brought me back to the crowd. Then Louis pushed Geri forward. I was like NO! NO! NO!! But they won't listen to me. Out of desperation, I called the police. (Don't ask me how it was possible. Beats me again. But well, in my dream, I can do anything). As I was making the phone call, they ran away (including Geri too!! She was supposed to be a victim as well!!). Oh well...

And I woke up.

***

Recovering from diarrhoea. I wouldn't say I've fully recovered cos the stools are still somewhat muddy. Because of the carbon tt I was taking, it was literally black shit. lol.

Gonna do proj today. Pray for good team dynamics. Haha. Hopefully can finish everything by tmr. ET just came back in the morning too. He brought SRS back this time round. Haha. Got entertainment liao. 难得he's asking me to mug tgt but too bad, I've someone else to attend to at the moment. LoL.

Smart Facebook

Even sending an online gift over the imaginery landscape of cyberspace needs money nowadays. Facebook's getting cheeky eh... Haha. Was it because it's rose and they know a lot are willing to buy? Or was it because it's limited in number so people won't mind?

Either way, if they r going to sell until it's SOLD OUT, they r gonna make a bloody US$10,000,000... Gosh.

Didn't realise tt I had to pay until I reached the last section of the page after filling in tonnes of stuff. Then I was like.. Oh well, 算了吧... 给他们赚咯。

Some ppl say 相同的花，不同的命... I wonder how real is this... I only know sometimes 相同的花，有不同的使命。Haha.

第一次

Yet another first time. First time talking to my sis over msn this afternoon. And the first thing I told her is "dont play too much ah..". Well, though I was saying tt, I think she's alr old enough to think for herself. There's really no point in forcing her doing things tt go against her will. So she has to really realise tt she needs to study before she will really put in the effort to do it.

Holidays are ending soon.. Really soon.. There are still a lot of things undone. I actually feel quite bad abt pushing video assignments from Qianru but I really don't have the free days for them..

Back to work. Work work... I'm at Loperamide. 16 more to go!!

Playing with Noteworthy

Sharks sharks.. Why am I not studing?? Been playing with Noteworthy Composer since after breakfast. Decided to change my blog's background music, despite Shuhui's objection (assume one... since she likes first love so much. lol). Oh ya, must thank her for the Subway cookies. No need to go out for lunch alr =D

Edited a soundtrack from A Littre of Tears.. It's a nice series but the problem with it is tt it's too saddening.. Well, here's how the midi editing started:

This is the original sound track 3月9日 (Sangatsu Kokonoka) from 1リットルの涙:

These are the midis I found from the net:

Here is the final edited copy which, I think it suits as a background music for this blog:

Special thanks go to Mr. Louis Lim for teaching me doing fading thru cresendo on noteworthy, noteworthy composer, direct midi to mp3 converter, and the websites from which I downloaded the original midis from.

=)

A weird weird dream...

Cannot alr.. Too much Shuhui. Must put it to a halt.

Yi Fei (think it was prolly becos I saw him back in hall last night bef I slept) and Shuhui visited my dream. A super duper out-of-the-place one. Guess what? In there, Shuhui went for IUD implantation!! Don't ask me why tt happened (maybe it has got something to do with the drugs I was revising bef I slp too?).

It was a rather vivid dream.. With a comprehensive plot and commendable acting. Quite a lot of things happened.. Then there was also this guy called Feng Ying (utterly have no idea who he is in real life). Saw this name in a list in tt dream.

Hmm.. Since it wasn't entirely logical and was a bit embarassing, I shan't narrate the whole thing. No idea who's reading this blog anyway. So again, play safe...

Shuhui

Boredom from studying's killing me.. -.- You see, I'm not the kind who likes to READ or study.. Tt explains the situation I'm in right now.

Was helping MAB to look for photos of hall play ppl for their MAB voting. Then I realised I actually have quite some farny photos. But strange enough, most of them featured Shuhui and waikit -.- Well, I don't think there's anything interesting abt WK, so just ignore him for the time being ba.. Haha.

Bump-in day @ foyer (credits to photo comm)

Bump-in day @ foyer 2 (thx to photo comm again)
One of the mornings during cast camp

Irritability: High, due to insufficient slp e night bef Man, just what was she thinking???

Nice person to work with. Responsible, caring and sometimes humourous. Can tok cock kind. Something surprising is... She's still single!! Didn't quite believe it when she told me during HP recruitment interviews last sem. Wooo.. Tt sounds soooo far away~~~ And now, she's my boss in ROCKE. Hoho..

At this point if you are wondering, save the trouble. She enjoys her "singlehood" and I'm happy with the way we are now. No more, no less. +D

A drastic change in bowel status

Went back to UHWC this morning, hoping to find the same doctor and tell him what I've been thru but I failed. He didn't come today. So I saw another one. This one is interesting... When he first saw me, he started speaking in Mandrin with me. I was like.. ??? Did he think tt I'm a PRC or by my looks he knows I'm not proficient in English? Whichever the case, I replied in Mandrin too. But when it came to medical terms, I still used English cos I have no idea what on Earth are things like "hyperthyroidism" called in Chinese... And ya... He said I don't have hyperthyroidism.

Received 20 ULTRACARBON TAB. As usual, the pharmacist said, "2 tablets 3 times a day 8 hourly taken with water." And tt ended my UHWC visit.

These carbon tabs are... strong. I've a feeling tt they are hygroscopic the moment I put them into my mouth. And after having them, though I still had urges to go toilet, nothing came out. Or rather.. Hardly anything came out. Well, not sure whether tt's a good sign cos I feel it's still not quite clean in there.

***

Mama's bday today. Sent her an sms in the morning. Initially wanted to go home and prolly have dinner together with my family. But with this kind of conditions, I can't really go anywhere... Then they ended up visiting me and brought me dinner in the end. Ba was questioning me why didn't I inform them abt my diarrhoea... Well...

In anycase, 妈，生日快乐！

***

有人领养我房外面的小白了！！哈哈。小白要乖，要保重哦~虽然有人（我不会讲是千虹的）嫌弃你，但是我知道，还是会有人觉得你可爱的 =P

***

Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet... Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet... Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet... Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet... Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet... Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet... Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet... Project grp mate isn't coming back yet... SDL grp mates aren't coming back yet...

我做错了什么？

这三天来吃的苦头不少，我是无辜的啊~我也是人，也有血有泪有情感，为什么要这样对我？

频繁上厕所拉肚子的次数，足以让偶的屁股裂成两半。排出来的浑水，足以让周星驰开演他的长江八号。

日照香炉升紫烟，遥看瀑布挂前川。
飞流直下三千尺，疑是银河落九天。

-李白

感叹李白的七言绝句也不过如此而已。想想这比喻还真贴切。银河英文的翻译不就正是Milky Way吗？Milky milky...

Recovering.. Finally

Finally, I have this feeling that I'm recovering. Thanks to the man above. He holds the key to my relief.

***

大象长长的鼻子正昂扬

全世界都举起了希望

孔雀旋转着碧丽辉煌

没有人应该永远沮丧

河马张开口吞掉了水草

烦恼都装进它的大肚量

老鹰带领着我们飞翔

更高更远更需要梦想

***

It's been a long time since I last dreamt. Had loads of dreams yesterday (was like dreaming whole day cos I was practically sleeping the whole day...) and last night. Had weird ones like making a trip to Taiwan.. And the FUN part was tt I went there with JOEL HAW!! HOHOHO... I'd never have imagined tt in my real life. The transit was done in Hong Kong. When I arrived there, I met Perl. And the stragest thing was.. My father was tailing behind me the whole time -.-

Had another weird one this morning too.. But can't really remember now alr. Hmm... Could only recall tt if tt happens in real life, it's so gonna be screwed.

Anyway, I find myself quoting from other ppl again.. It's Dr. Lew this time round:

".. i dreamed about you last night.

or should i say,

you appeared in my dream?

either way,

you graced my dream =)"

Well, for some ppl, I'm not entirely sure whether the quote applies. Lol.

I'm a vagina!

"You are usually very open. . .minded. Still, sometimes you're just not in the mood for things because you're very sensitive. You especially do not like to be forced into doing things. What really sucks is that when accidents occur you're the one who has to deal with the extra baggage."

Waiting for lunch as well as the next toilet visit. Went to the v-long-nv-visit facebook site. Tonnes of apps invitations and there was an interesting one sent by Jevin- Penis or vagina? -.- Took and short test and found tt I'm a vagina

-_________-

Switching from West to East

I'm losing confidence on the antarcids, antispasmodic and antiemetics prescribed... They don't solve my problem.. I was relying on my own analgesic most of the time ironically. With the unstoppable diarrhoea, I'm losing tonnes of fluid and electrolyte balance -.- And now, I think it's time for a change. Switching to TCM.

Talking of which, some of my classmates are rather anti-TCM. Wee Beng, for instance, didn't even want to attend the TCM complementary and alternative med lect. According to him, it was "against his belief". But guess what, these medicines and treatments have been in existence for tens of hundreds of years. I'm sure they do have their values. Increasing researches in TCM substantiate this point.

Hmm.. Apply what was taught in lect, most likely my 阳腑 organs (ie. stomach and intestines) were in distress. Accompanying which, my heart/ blood vessels (drop in BP?)/ tongue/ flesh/ mouth were affected as well. Emotions-wise, happy and pensive (not entirely sure how these are affected since it's not really explained in the notes). Well, just knew tt even if I know I'm now weak in yang, and I need to supplement it, I've no idea the thing tt I've just eaten (保济丸) falls under which denomination. Adding on to which, there might be 滞气 to my affected organs. How to get the qi flowing again? I've no idea. Haha. Whatever the theory, 不管是中药西药，只要是能治病的就是好药。=)

Rejuvenation

I guess tt's what it means by having ups and downs in life. A moment ago I was still engulfed in my own sian-ness and physical discomfort. But a moment later, I was encouraged by the fact tt my tiny little gesture *yesterday morning* could actually become someone else's blessing.

Though I slept for almost the entire day, I'm glad tt I managed to get some work done at night. Finished the prac reports for pharm anat expt 12 and 13. So proud of my self. lol.

Campus ministry went to Sentosa err.. Yesterday. Ya. Bet they had a great time there. Though I couldn't join them due to my "disabilities", I wasn't forgotten!! Haha. Simon bought me, and the rest of the raf ppl, bean curd. Nice nice. =D Credits must go to the deliverer as well =) =)

Read Zhipeng's blog just now too. He's also a Cina Powerhouse. Reading his latest post, I could only 傻笑... Isn't tt the true reflection of many of us? Well, if it's something beyond my control, normally I won't dwell too much into the questions of "why am I like tt?" cos I know I'll never get an ans. Thou despite knowing tt, I still ask myself at times. Well, asking and dwelling into it are two seperate issues, aren't they? =P

From one of the blogs I visited just now, I found some criteria of the author's dream guy: knows how to make her laugh, must like reading, loves her and be reassuring, not a glib guy, trustworthy and of the same freq as her. HO... Looking at those, sweat droplets were running down my spine...

***

Another poem by my cousin... Brilliantly written.

《让我静静地想你》

总在夜阑人静时,

想起了你。

那一双迷人的眼睛，

温柔天真的神情，

这种感觉不知该说给谁听，

害怕听见心跳的声音……

"~*ღ*"~*ღ*"~*ღ*

你的可爱，

填满了我的记忆；

你的纯洁，

欢乐了我的足迹。

把你的字字句句刻骨铭记，

让我的生命再添欢喜……

"~*ღ*"~*ღ*"~*ღ*

自从上次让你哭泣，

我明白了珍惜的意义。

不再把感情压抑在心底，

趁早付出真心把你惋惜，

我的心早已被你缠系……

"~*ღ*"~*ღ*"~*ღ*

山盟海誓不必，

你我真心足矣。

与其让岁月慢慢流逝安息，

倒不如把这场喋喋不休的梦呓，

化成一股新的期冀，

让我阐释爱情的真谛。

"~*ღ*"~*ღ*"~*ღ*

寒寒冬季，

静静地想你……

Sleeping Spree

Had PK tut yesterday and we talked abt the problem of patients' non-compliance again and how it may pose a problem to the treatment regimens. Recalling which, I reflect upon myself. I'm not even complying to take the drugs prescribed by the doctor yesterday, though by right as a pharmacist-to-be, I shldn't be doing so. And how exactly can we blame our patients when we, as healthcare professionals, don't comply to treatment regimens?

***

Literally sleeping no day no night today. Couldn't stop feeling tired, lethargic and uncomfortable, not to mention the frequent toilet visit that rendered polluted stools, which their exit from my GIT resembled tt of tap-water.. Last night slept at 3+ am because of ROCKE and project. Today leh, after breakfast at 830, I slept till lunch. After lunch at 130, I slept again, until like... now.

It might be part of a Plan for me to slow down my pace and to take a rest. Though the way it was brought abt was not entirely enjoyable, I'm feeling more recharged after all the long sleeps.

***

Dear Lord, I know that in life there are numerous trials and tribulations. However, may I pray that you prepare my heart to see the truth and what lies beyond them. It is so that I may learn Your ways and stay focused instead of being swayed by the uncertainties, Lord. Bring me out of humanly desires and comfort my heart, Lord. And lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil. Committing all these and this time of prayer into your loving hands, Amen.

22.2

Today's Feb 23. Holidays have started. But I have no holiday feelings. There are a lot of work to do and now I'm down with what obviously seems to be food poisoning. -.-

Feeling weak and feverish. Slept late last night too. Thought abt a lot of things but the more I think, the more I don't understand. Are vaccines' MOA similar to that of adverse reactions mediated by antibodies? How come there's no one taking up ROCKE positions? Why is it tt my emotions are not really controlled by myself? Why are things the way they are now? And.. What are YOU really thinking?

Answers... Answer me.

我喜欢你

看着阿汉的部落格，我不禁要大声喊道：“我喜欢你！”

两个字--厉害。从小，我华文的水平总有种离他十万八千里的感觉。在他那里看到他自己的创作，也让我不禁悄悄地写了起来。

今天到他那里去，看到他又有新的作品。那种水准，令我望尘莫及啊~

***

四季交替
让我看淡爱情的旋律
百感交集
却斩不断该死的情蒂
"~*ღ*"~*ღ*"~*ღ*
也许我还看不清真理
但我学会了珍惜
总好过再次回到原地
把这份爱恋迷离
"~*ღ*"~*ღ*"~*ღ*
望着那被岁月剪断的羽翼
残留着你我的记忆
经过缘分的洗涤
这条路会开往哪里
我们的故事该如何演绎？
"~*ღ*"~*ღ*"~*ღ*
你不回应
我也无语
得之，我幸
不得，我命
如此而已

***

这里面的一字一句，深深印到我心坎里。难道这就是堂兄弟之间的默契？如此而已？

猜谜的乐趣？

Talked to someone last night. He was on the verge on making a very very important decision. The reasons behind it was simple. But there was still a hope in changing his mind. However, here's the difficult part. He set us a riddle- There are still things and possibilties of him staying. But he's not going to tell us what can make it happen.

Talked to someone else this morning. She was on the verge of, apparently, a shut-down point. The reasons behind it was unclear. Ways and means to fish out the truth proved to be merely failures. There may be a chance tt she'll confess. But here's the difficult part- She set me a riddle, and I've no idea how to solve it.

Talked to yet another person few days ago. She is, also, suffering. Apparently, life is difficult in many aspects. The reasons behind are rather clear. And there are remedies too. But she is not willing to take. So how can she feel better? It is yet another riddle.

In life there are so many riddles and mysteries to be solved. They add on to the already-there problems, and our heads just keep going thru hyperthrophy. Why, when there are problems, tt we cannot be truthful and spit them out? Keep guessing won't get anyone far isn't it?... And it's tiring.

Riddle noob. Am I stupid or it's just stupid me?

上贼船了...

上贼船了...上贼船了...

Today marks my second day in office as ROCKE vice and first day as Flag secretariat "temporary head". And just when I thought things are going to be fine, I was introduced the reality. Even at this recruitment stage, we are so screwed. As a hall with close to 500 ppl, we are not able to find suitable people who are, at the same time, willing to take up leadership positions due to various reasons.

After coming out from Zhengyu's room, Shuhui and I just looked at each other and 苦笑. How to solve all these? There were even times when the idea of me kena arrowed as KEWOC or Float head flashing thru my mind when we were talking in Zhengyu's room. How? I'm kinda scared tt there will come a time when there's really no other way out... -.-

Boycott Rag and Flag this year? Zhengyu had his points. NUSSU only knows how to put on a facade but dunno how to go abt doing things. There were so many problems last year when we went out to Padang. And the top ppl didn't even care what kind of tormet the ppl below were experiencing. What they knew was just "ya this is good... Shows NUS SPIRIT!! We will come back to Padang next year." -.-

But.. This is really a seriously big decision shld we go for it. And even if we do, I don't think our hall alone is enough to create any impact. Will also present our problems to master. I'm curious what will he say when we see him...

***

She is not well. Don't really know what causes it. But just hope tt everything is ok.

***

Pray for Shuhui, Zhengyu, her, and I. Guide us thru this difficult period. Though it seems like "difficult periods" simply come one after another non-stop, I'm sure there will be a way out... Somewhere. Comfort our hearts and show us a way. Committing all these into Your loving hands, Amen.

I'm a Malaysian

I felt so out of place... lol. Just now over the dinner, Joanne, PW, QH, Yi Fei, Wuhong, etc were talking abt a trip to Kluang over the mid-sem break. Names of places were shooting across the dining table but I barely had any clue of what was happening. -.-

Well, cant help it ba I guess.. Been studying here in sg for so long and the fact tt I seldom go home put me in this kind of situation. Even when I go back home, I don't really go out too. At the most, I'll just go for dinner/shopping with my family. Don't really have M'sian friends there. Dennis, Anthony and a couple of other pri sch mates are here in sg alr, the others either went "missing" or overseas. Not being able to drive YET also add on to my disabilities and crippled me further. What more can I say?

The other day when I took a cab back to hall with Damian and QH, the taxi uncle could tell tt both of them are Msian straight away. And then the uncle said to me..

“你是新加坡人哦？你惨了啦！掺太多马来西亚人了。讲话也有一点奇怪了。”

Err.. It's more like the other way round. I don't see what is there so 惨abt mixing with M'sians..

Mid-sem break is coming. I cant help feeling excited abt it. Not because I'm going anywhere, but the prospect of having a good break ahead.

The ball continues to roll...

Just came back from the changing landscape lecture. And as I was climbing up the KE stairs, I was thinking what commitments I have at this point in time. Then I realised, I've sort of taken up ROCKE vice last night.

Why tt "stupid"? No la, cos things haven't really been moving lately. Mid sem break is coming and hol comm heads are not even confirmed yet. Was kinda worried for ROCKE and Shuhui and finally decided to help her (if she still wants me). Dunno whether I had a part to play in the delays or not. Well, I hope I didn't. Anw, according to her, the bottleneck lies with jcrc right now. So, fingers crossed for the time being.

Talked to Mcvin and he said he will apply to be flag vice if Joe is the head. Talked to Joe, he's still worried abt his commitment problems. Well, I still feel tt the ideal situation shld be where both of them take up the responsibilities. Joe asked me to take up flag second vice too. Err.. Not wanting to dig myself yet another grave, I suggested to him to find a junior as second vice, not me. We shall trash these leadership problems out during tmr's meeting after the fire drill.

Yay~ Tonight's free for me again. Can do work! Work work!! I want to be like Mcvin, to be a closed-door mugger and not a closed-door slacker. Haha.

Random Entry

A lot of things happened these few days, which rendered me clueless as to what I shld note down. Perhaps what I'll do is just to write down whatever tt comes to my mind in the next half and hour or so...

Went back to MicroB lab this morning to check my results for the last practical.. Seeing loads of bacteria everywhere.

Cultivation of bacteria

Noticed tt there are some other things like gifts/presents/etc tt I had not taken pictures. Did so when I had time just now before starting on my changing landscape project overview and soap.. Did so using my “可以打电话的相机”.

A belated bday present from myself.. Broke liao broke liao..

A free gift.. Sitting outside my room now..Collected my pill boxes today.
Together with QH's test tubes, the set is complete =D
Choc from Trixie on last day of Hall Play..

VDay present from block commVDay survival kit from NUSPS Welfare
Err.. Platinum the pakaging says. It's the world's thinnest condom,
and it's expected to give the most FEEL even with protection. -.-

Cup cake from Shuhui through F Block Comm
Looked a bit cui? It's the 心意 tt counts..

There are a lot of things worth noting down today. I revealed more of my "secrets" today and was told "secrets" too. They were like aftershocks. Whilst still having impacts on me, they were not as impactful as the initial shock. Nonetheless, they gave me a fuller picture of what happened back then. And I'm rather intrigued by the idea of a guy and a gal being best friends.

***

对一个人好，真的这样明显吗？

Choir items @ ECP

Moon River


半个月亮爬上来

A little bit relieved

I thought I'd have missed the service yesterday morning but I found out tt rehearsal only started at 2pm and we could choose to go on our own. Attended service in the end. On my way to Bugis at noon, I was on this super duper packed 171. And I was trying to msg while holding on to my wallet and ipod. It was proven to be a foolish thing to do as my phone dropped after a sudden jerk of the bus. The innocent phone was only one-day old. My gosh.

Then I tot 171 could go straight near Bugis Junction but I was wrong. Realised it when the bus reached Marina/Esplanade. Then I had to walk all the way back to city hall to take train -.-

On my way, I questioned why such things shld befall on me. I took the troubles to go for service and yet those were what I got in return. I was accusing again. But on second thoughts, I felt tt I shldn't have done tt. It's part of a plan and it's just tt I'm not yet able to see the intention behind...

***

Took the 2-hr gap between rehearsal and performance in the afternoon just now to do my pharm anat tutorial. Came back to hall straight after choir's item and started doing the rest of my homework.

Up till 5 minutes ago, I've finally completed my econs tut and pharm anat prac report. Did an interview questionniare for pubs comm too. Then in the middle of things, my dear proj groupmate started talking to me enthusiatically abt our project.. But as I was in the midst of rushing my work, I didn't pay much attention to what she was talking abt.

Dunno whether tt was the trigger to the subsequent what-appeared-to-me-to-be a "sudden mood swing" or not. Upon sensing tt, I was somewhat more careful with wad I said thereafter. Felt bad abt it... I shld've paid more attention. After all, this is not just a project tt's going to be graded but something we shld enjoy too...

***

Went to Little India for GEK2001 field trip with Dangni, Huining, Gwen and QH on Sat. Went over to Suntec after which and got myself a new phone.. It's an old model-K800i from SonyEricson. But well, I was looking for a cheap phone with good camera (so tt I dont have to bring my bulky cam out whenever I need to take pictures) and since it fulfilled both criteria, I bought it. It costs me $478 with a 2GB memory card. After this, the figures in my POSB acc had once again dropped below 4 digits...

Met QH and Chan at Yuki-Yaki for dinner tt evening. Tt meal concluded my day with a 500-dollar expenditure. Guess who else I met in Marina Square tt evening? Haha. I'm not gonna say who...

***

ECP is finally over. Together with VDay, bazaar, and videos. I just hope tt the last week before mid sem break will be a smooth-sailing one. There've been a number of undesirable events happening ard last week. Don't want to see ppl (including myself) pulling a long long face in front of others alr.

How I wish I can be more sensitive to others' feelings and thoughts. Complex as we are (humans), sometimes it's to the extent tt we cant even understand ourselves...

Last thing... CY jia you~ =D

迟来的祝福

也不知道老天到底在安排什么，刚刚往鞋架望了一眼，才看到了那迟来的祝福。

ET msg me this morning. Asking me whether he could borrow my leather shoes for some dunno-what thing he was going to have. Told him to go straight to my shoe rack and retrieve it himself. Was suddenly reminded of this a moment ago and went out to check for the absence of my shoes. But to my surprise, they were still there.. Wonder what ET's been thinking. But more importantly, there was something else lying on top of the shoes. I have no idea how long have they been lying out there w/o me noticing. But well...

读完卡片那瞬间，嘴角泛起了一丝微笑... ... 虽然两回事完全扯不上关系，但是心情已经没有之前那样沉重了。

***

A moment of silence

For the pharmaco practical today, we were supposed to learn routes of administration and try them on mice. In the process, my group killed 1 and I heavily injured another one. The mice looked v different after the experiment- Tired and in pain... Felt bad for what we have done.

The microbio lab in the morning didn't go too well too. When I was melting the agar gels, the label for one MA agar dropped when it was heated up in boiling water bath. And I ended up unable to identify it among the rest of the nutrient agar, which didn't have labels. I might have used it in a normal nutrient agar plate else where so I'll have at least 1 plate of failure by the time we observe the results next week.

***

I'm not sure whether I had the right to be angry for what happened yesterday after all the aftermaths. From all that are happening right now, it seem tt I didn't. I end up becoming the one apologising, which I don't think it's v unfair since I gave seemingly unfriendly comments after getting angry.

It was a busy VDay. Slp at 3am+ tt morning upon completion of HP and handball video editing. After having 10-6pm chain of lectures, I was alr mentally exhausted. Then still got to help CY with the tearing down of VDay bazaar. It didn't manage to end before the 8pm choir prac in hall, which was the last one before we perform at Bugis this Sunday. With all those things and the imcomplete tutorials and lab reports at the back of my mind, it was really not a good time for me to get jokes as my joke tolerance level was alr way below the norm.

***

Why? Am I finding myself excuses? No idea. Am probably accounting for my explosive reactions last night. Been trying to find the missing links in the picture... Anything tt I might have overlooked but I couldn't... Why are the things happening to me happening to me right now? And why am I feeling so badly affected by it?

理解问答

利用原文《将心比心》，回答下列问题。

项目（一）：选择题 （30分）

1）作者喜欢_______。
a）晴天
b）阴天
c）雨天
d）随便

2）文中的“火柴”比喻谁最为恰当？
a）赖逸峰
b）苏伟杰
c）梁淑惠
d）王千虹

3）下列哪一项不是火柴灰见过的景象？
a）山峦
b）鸵鸟
c）新加坡
d）十二月的北半球


项目（二）：问答题 （70分）

4）试大略说明火柴灰随风飘扬时的心情。（30分）

5）针对现今新加坡国大的学生宿舍生活提出看法，并以此文加以阐述观点。（20分）

6）作者是怎样看待国大宿舍生活、课外活动和额外的责任？试以第二和第三个段落加以说明。（20分）

~完~

将心比心

天色晦暗，
是风雨来袭前的预告片断；
吾心黯然，
是感觉不到四周的丝丝温暖。

不喜欢炎炎的阳光，
只因它曾经把我灼伤；
在灯光明媚的舞台上，
观众又是否看得到幕后--
小丑强颜欢笑后的感伤？

纵不喜天边阳光璀璨，
也不爱墙边角落阴暗；
在寒冷冬季那晚，
小小火柴依然期盼，
燃烧自己，
能送走小女孩的孤单。

燃烧殆尽，
仅剩一撮灰烬，
满足地随着轻风飘曳；

悠逸~ 悠逸~
近看鸟儿安逸喳喳叽叽
远赏宏伟山峰骇人壮丽
鸟瞰世界万千变化目不暇给
细细品茗彩虹天边悠然绚丽
悠矣~ 悠矣~
可在风停之际，
孤寂却又悄悄侵占它心里。

倦了、
困了，
火柴凄然地笑了；
在理性与感性交接的那一刻，
火柴到底---
是怎么想的？

而我要的，
又是什么？

***

Am doing video editing in video room right now. Encountering lotsa problems- Footages not properly taken, slow computer, short time, and my careless overlook of certain details are taking their toll, giving me nothing but re-dos. Waiting for the videos to render and compress is kinda dreadful I'd say. And the distance between the finishing line and where I stand now just keeps elongating. Don't really feel like doing anything else. And so here I am, writing some 诗不像诗，词不像词的东西. After rereading it, I realised I've included a lot of things inside. Even challenged Waikit and see if he can fish out everything I wanted to say. lol.

Shuhui will be running for JCRC president next sem... She really does have a heart for the hall. Having said that, life will just get tougher for her in the months to come. With all the impending uncertainties and the going-to-get-more-and-more-challenging M3 studies, I can't help but to say, "Hey, stay alive next year k..."

Looking into the mirror, I really don't know what I want. Sounds familiar eh? 将心比心, this line also came out rather frequently from my inner self. I think this has also become one of the many "QH's favourite clauses", apart from the usual "I've alr gotten used to hurting myself...". Not knowing whether I shld nod or shake my head, I've no idea how many other ways can one hurts him/herself apart from making lesions at ulnar/radial arteries.

I also have no idea as to why my recent posts are mostly depressing ones. Is it so difficult to lead a happy life? Is it so difficult to express our inner feelings? Are the people around us so difficult to understand? Yes, I think they are, at least at times.

Why are we sufferring? Well, maybe Waikit has the ans, "We are mere mortals and cannot understand the wisdom of God!" and probably, we'll get the answers

till we have faces.

GG-ed

Price rise again. Nothing too surprising. Still, it'll be painful... Painful...

Both tuition fees and hostel fees are rising sky-rocketing high. I have no idea how badly they will affect me. I wonder how come every other things are rising but my scholarship's allowance. If it stays the same after the fee increments, I'll literally get nothing after all the fee deductions. I've no idea how badly this new policy will affect the rest of the foreign students too.

***

I thought life will be easier after hall play. However, it seems tt I'm not entirely right to say so. Right after hp, I have to help CY with his bazaar at sci foyer, I have hp and handball videos to edit, I have school work to catch up, and the hp sc retreat to attend (lol).

***

Met Esmond really unexpectedly today. It caught me off-guard. Nevertheless, it was a kinda pleasant encounter and he appeared to be much nicer than I imagined.

***

I'm now editing hall play videos in our video room. Disaster is how I'd describe it. Our second night was much better than the first night. However, 2 out of 3 tapes of second night was spoilt!! The videographer didn't check the tape conditions before he used it. -.- Now I'm trying to extract whatever I can get from the first night's footage. Argh... Feel like crying. And after this, I still have handball to settle... Pray for me.

回忆从前

回忆从前，
每每春到人间，
年少的我们是多么的雀跃；

聚首过节，
在大大的祖父家里，
我们用小小的足迹，
试图布满屋里的每个边缘。

时间流逝如流水，
往事虽仍历历在目，
可我知道，如今已---
不比从前。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

这年春回大地，
我一往如常，
回到故乡找寻
记忆里那段消逝中的时间。

然而，
屋瓦虽在，
人事已非；
多少次的天真顽皮，
多少次的打闹嬉戏，
经过多少次花开花落，
终得慢慢步入---
被遗忘的空间。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

过往的从前，
犹如一缕青烟；
童年的一切一切，
都已不能复现。

身在异乡的我，
在回忆里模糊了视线。
于夜阑人静的这一刻，
也只能静静地---
回忆从前。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

从前，每次回二河东都是带着兴奋欢愉的心情。学校放假，回到乡下的祖父家，最值得期待的莫过于和堂弟们嬉戏了。然而，现在每次回去，心情几乎都是沉重的。看着阿公的灵牌和阿嫲的一脸憔悴，想说几句安慰的话都不知该如何启齿。更加令我感到心痛的是阿嫲现在度日如年的生活。她说日子很难过，有时候真的不知道能干什么，就只能看着时钟等死。

这次回去，步履蹒跚的阿嫲从房间里拿出了一些事物。从表面包装来看，它们都是阿嫲相当珍惜的东西。那些东西里包括很旧很旧很旧了的打字机、留声机和收音机，还有一捆铅笔和一个公事包。阿嫲要我把它们带走，说能用的就自己用，不能用的就卖了它们。阿嫲的举动，就像是一个视死如归的老人，在为自己善后。看着那些东西，听者那些话，我怎能不心酸？怎能不难过？

在过去的这几年里，子女个个成家立业，孙子们个个到外地求学，离开了那木屋，离开了她。就连阿公，也都先走一步了。性格倔强的阿嫲，说什么都不肯走，不肯离开那间住了大半个世纪的木屋，不肯离开从前生活的回忆。作为孙子的我，真的不知道还能为她老人家再做些什么。无助、难堪、心寒等种种情绪夹杂在一起，有时还真的有点令人窒息。

望着夕阳划过天际，我深深体会到了生离死别的痛。它们的影响是漫长而深远的。我并不责怪人类的情感，毕竟生命因爱伟大；但是这人世间的悲痛，却又往往令人感到无所适从。

Tiring CNY

Been rushing here and there between JB, Pontian and Melaka. It was indeed tiring especially for my mother, who was our driver.

Apart from the tiredness, CNY has alr lost it's excitement (at least for me). Things have changed since years ago. And we won't be able to get back in time to when we used to enjoy CNY so much. Things have changed, so do the people.

I guess a major achievement for me during this CNY is to get to know my maternal families better, whom I only meet once a year. Had chances to talk to my maternal cousins and we even exchanged MSN contacts. Hmm.. It's really quite an achievement for me.

*****

The cats at my grandma's place just gave birth!! Haha. 4 tiny little kittens. Had fun playing them... Err. No.. Playing with them. lol.

I miss my childhood at Ayer Baloi... It was innocent, fun-filled, and there were so much joy and life among the young few of us. Back then when yf, jh, ws were still lil kiddies...

This was the place where I used to spend my sch hols

Lurking around...

邻家的小菜园

*****

This year, as usual for the past 3-4 years, we went to 三叔's place for steamboat dinner on 初一 evening. He works in plantations and he usually brings us tonnes of fresh fruits and veggies.

Uncle's hut

Lurking around 2

The steamboat dinner

*****

Back in Melaka, I met my maternal families. We normally don't see each other until CNY. Why? Cos all of us have our own things to do, and travelling isn't something tt one would like to do so frequently. In my maternal side, I'm one of the youngest around. I had a cousin who just got married a few months ago, and some are alr working. Nonetheless, It's still "note-worthy" tt many of them are good-looking. It's not quite a biased comment thou I think 翔 wouldn't quite agree with me once he sees the photos. Well, we have dif standards.

A scene at my 大舅's place

*****

Before my family headed back to JB, we took a few family photos.

Happy CNY =)

yoz ppl, happy CNY~

Today is the lunar new year's eve. I'm at home with my family right now. In a while's time, I'll be going back to my grandma's place, where I'll meet the rest of my paternal family's branches.

Checked emails this morning. A particular one caught my attention. Scared? Not really. Rather, I was surprised to find out certain things written in there. After replying to the email, I feel relieved. Those feelings had been hidden within me for the past 6 months and now I'm unleashing them out. It may mark the end of the last stupid thing I did before I turned 21.

Well, the net spd in Msia is well-known to be slowwwwwwwww. So I don't think I'll attempt to upload the photos and video I took during the bazaar at central forum yesterday. There was an auction too. Damn fun~ Haha.

Our hall's squash team won IHG. Congrats to them. Got the news from Shu Hui last night when I was in Woodlands Checkpoint. Good job to the IHG squash team =)

What will I do on 初三? I have no idea just yet. QH said she will be meeting up with her frens in K Box in City Square (hmm... Is there a K Box?) and asked me whether I want to meet her there. Err.. I don't even know where I'll be. I'm thinking of going back to sg earlier so tt I have time to complete the MicroB lab report and do other things tt required my attention.

Oh.. Start-up@Singapore is also something tt is bothering me right now. I intend to take part in it but cannot find teammates just yet. Asked set and et whether there's space for me to chip in. Awaiting their reply.

O ya.. I also forgot to acknowledge Peijing and Dorothy for their bday present for me. Haagen Dazs' ice-cream voucher. So nice of them =) Again, I'd like to thank everyone who remembered my bday and helped me celebrate it in one way or another. =P Really had a blessed 21st bday.

Withdrawal symptoms?

Haha. Waikit was talking abt withdrawal symptoms. I felt more relieved than having withdrawal symptoms. Lol.

It's been a long long time since I could really sit down, not thinking abt anything but to slack and update my blog...

Must treasure this time before ppl start to approach me again for holiday comm...

Till We Have Faces

A Scene in Our Play

Fabby and I in Curtain Call
See you next year!!

Hall Play 0708

Till We Have Faces

Had lunch at Nicole's on the 3rd day

Main Course at Nicole's
Tech Crews, Geri, Fabian, Louis and ME~

Tech Crews, Geri, Fabian, Louis and ME 2~

Louis, Geri, Fabian, ME~
Louis, Geri, Fabian, ME 2~

The UCC Theatre
SCrews
Cast
Emcees
Make-up

Control Room

Dressing Room

Ppl acting cute, Mcvin stressing and Sarah sleeping

Louis and I @ Strike Out with Brenda's Artwork

Strike Out

Though we faced much problems along the way, we still managed to end everything on a high note. It was pretty much a resounding success. =)

Blessed Birthday

3 Feb 2008, I turned 21. Thanks to fellow KEVIIans and GLCC Campus grp, this year's bday is by far the most memorable one I'd ever had. =)

This year's bday coincided with the last day of hall play. I knew tt there was kinda no way for me to escape especially after striking out from UCC when everyone became stressless again.

So, here is how everything started. After striking out from the theatre, we waited at the loading bay behind UCC theatre as our truck transported scrap wood and sets back to hall. Builders were supposed to demolish everything. When they had stopped demolishing, I wondered why the tree hadn't been destroyed. Thinking tt it might be difficult and they might decide to throw it away in one piece, tt doubt didn't stay within my head for long.

Stupid me. Just when everything seemed calm, Louis came to lure me, asking me to check out something near the tree. As I walked nearer to the tree, the builders and SCrews there rushed at me and pushed me against the tree. Before I could realised what happened, I had been tied to to the sacrifice tree.

After which, Brenda started decorating me with bushes and flowers. Next, together with patrick, they took the 2 leftover bubble tea from afternoon and put them on top of the tree, threatening me not to move or struggle. Win liao lo. The "fun" began when Mcvin came back. He initiated a tickling session and the next thing I knew was this swarm of ppl sticking out their fingers and started tickling me. -________- Ho. Those who know me will know how SONG I was at tt very moment.

When Hanwei came back with the lorry, they decided to transport me together with the tree back to hall. Standing upright with the tree without holding on to anything when the truck was moving at 60km/h was so exciting la. I felt my face went cold and numb at the end of the ride.

Back in hall, they brought me down for auction. I ended up giving a thank-you speech to my production depts in the middle of the auction. Finally after 1.5 hours, they decided to let me down. However, the programme didn't end there. Last year's hall play seniors were waiting for me. Steph, Sulyn, Trixie, Waikit, Yenling, etc prepared their usual concoction (water+eggs+soy sauce+ketchup+rotten bread+sour plum powder+ vinegar+cooking oil?+dunno what else there were). Tied to a tiang along the sheltered walkway to GH blocks, Steph did her nail polishing work on my fingers after the egging session by everyone there before Waikit poured the concoction at me.

SONG

Firehose was employed in the cleaning process. The water was super duper cold. SONG~ I shivered my way back to my room with Zhipeng helping me to get my towel and stuff to the washroom. This marks the end of the "sufferrings".

When I finished washing up and returned to my room, I was surprised tt the lights were switched off. After going in and switching the lights back on, a bday card and present from Rac and PT lied on my bed.

What awaited me next was a lovely choc cake in AB lounge. Had a fun time with the year 3s and some year 1s and 2s. Because of all these arrangements, I didn't get to see the auctioning of sets and props. On 3rd Feb morning, I slept at 5am after the cleaning and washing.

*****

The next morning after the service at GLCC, there was another round of celebration by campus ministry. =D Simon bought me a fruit cake. As usual, Gail was our photographer.

Before 3rd Feb, Jasmine and gang bought me a Casio watch; Starting from 0001hr, a total of 23 ppl sent me sms greetings with QH being the first (she still owes me a present. lol), Simon second. Haha.. I feel so fortunate and blessed this year to have so many ppl celebrating my 21st bday. Hall play 0607 0708,block comm 0607, campus ministry, juniors and some other KEVIIans... I'll keep all these carefully in my memory.

Getting older

Had our first hall play performance in UCC abt 5 hours ago. A lot of things had happened since Tuesday. Really, like what zc said, we can write a play for next year's hall play based on our hall play this year. lol.

Eunice was running ard giving flowers to ppl right before our performance started. Got 1 from her too. =)

Recieved my first 21st bday present yesterday from Jasmine, Raymond, Felicia, Cynthia, Chern Yih and Baxter. It was a Casio watch, and it looks faintly identical to the one Baxter's wearing. Haha. Wonder whether it was his idea in getting tt watch. lol. Really thank them for the present.